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The Encyclopaedia Of Snopple

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Sar-Casm Wars

  The Encyclopaedia of Snopple

This section features a guide to the whole ethos of Super-Sarcasm.  To get you going, below are a choice selection of words that you can use to better yourself, your life and your loved ones.

1.  Snopple : Silly but fun nonsense word, may have hidden meaning.  Built as a personal homage to the official Dictionary copyrighted word, snaffle.

2.  All the time ( "All the toime !" ) :  Phrase used when someone says something quite unbelievable.   i.e. indicating that said unbelievable subject matter happens "All the toime".

3.  Yeas ( "Yeeeeessss") :   Ultra-sarcastic pronunciation of the word 'yes'.  Word used to indicate that something is not quite believable.  Actually means 'no'.

4.  So Much So :  ( Ab : S.M.S. )  Said when something is so true and unquestionable that it is amazing.  Can be abbreviated to simply 'So Much', i.e.  "So much don't like Sidari".

5.  Non Sarcastic Ears ( Ab : N.S.E. )  Phrase said when someone has perhaps gone overboard in their usage of Ultra-Sarcasm, in the presence of one who is unaccustomed to the language.  An appearance of the term "N.S.E." is code to indicate, "Woooowh!, hold up there on the old sarky boy antics, or they'll think we're mad !".

6.  Mah mah mah, Wibble Flompton Smop :  Phrase seldom used as it can provoke unwanted attention and spontaneous laughter.   Used to take the rip out of someone who says "mah mah mah".  Note : This does not happen often.

7.  Where did I come from ? :   Phrase used when you suddenly appear somewhere with a glove puppet and banana in your hand.

8.  Get yourselves a drink..... :  Shameless smarmy Sidari holiday rep and her attempt at being 'the life & soul of the party'.  She sadly failed, now used as a reminder of the evil of a resort named Sidari.

9.  Yassle :  Now seldom used term meaning the exact same as 'yeas'.

10.  Urge to ...... ( kill rising ) :  Used when the urge just takes control.  i.e., upon the viewing of Star Wars LEGO, one would say "Urge to buy rising....".

11. "I have planted the seed"/ "the seed is growing" :  When someone puts forward an idea that is very tempting, but somehow forbidden.  The idea will normally not be mentioned for the next 10 minutes while the idea grows from it's 'seed', then the idea is normally acted upon.

12.  "Lets go home tonight and think about this, write some notes down and come in tomorrow" :  Famous saying that gets you out of University group work for the rest of the day, most normally when you feel lazy.

13.  "Lets try a banana !" :  Phrase used when no-one is listening to you, normally gets their attention.

14.  "Shouldn't of taken the egg !" :  Used when one should not have done something.   Like suggesting something, or stealing Chadwick's unborn little brother/sister.

15.  "I want something savoury !"  :  Phrase that is sometimes said to complete strangers.  Andrew didn't want anyone to think he had a sweet tooth, oh no.

16.  "Run away!" : Literally means 'run away'.  Thought of before the Teletubbies came onto the scene.

17.  "Was it a person ?"  :  Phrase generally said when questioning people about floating paper.

18.  Frog dance :  A series of limb motions that combine into said dance.  Now forgotten in the mysterious-nurse of time.

19.  "Oh no, it's the Sinbons" :  Classic ( now wiped ) out-take of Star Trek.

20.  "Peeoparrow" :  Single word that refers to the classic pronunciation mistakes of one University lecture.

21.  "Don't mix them uuupp! " :  Caution that should be advised in the mixing up of Mr Freeze's.  Said in the back seat of cars, usually by younger brothers.

22.  "S'not Possible" :  What three wishes are..

23.  "I liked that Golden Shower!"  :  Phrase said in appreciation of a dubious firework named 'Golden Flower'.  Causing much mirth in an accidental way.

24.  "Melon"  :  The most sarcastic of all the fruits of the land.

25.  "Golduhan - har !"  :  Answer to a mystery Trivial Pursuit question involving WW2 battleships.

26.  "This is shit, this is!" : Perhaps a non-upbeat approach to modern drinking nights.

27.  "Siggghhhh".  Mostly what one would say when contemplating a 9th game of Manta Rings.

28.  ****-Nurse.  Word used in late '99 to replace the term 'ness'.  So instead of saying, "Look at all the happyness!", one would say "Look at all the happy-nurse".  To this day, no-one knows what it means.

29.  "Good-Choice" ( Said EXTREMELY sarcastically ).  Daisy's Mario Party catchphrase.  Ever since abused by all mankind.

30.  "Practice Mash".  A child's training Mash.

31.  Fjords.  Matthew's ( Circa 1997 ) favourite thing.

32.  "Wait N See".  A mixture of 'Movies Games n Videos' Steve Priestly, and Sooty n Co.  A wonderful fusing, which works well in hit songs.

33.  "What the flying fuck!!!".  Monkey's, balls, they're everywhere!!!!!!

34.  Noas ( "No ass" ).  Either Andrew or Kevin's attempt at introducing a new sarcastic phrase to mean the opposite of 'yeas'.  Was supposed to be used in situations where say, one had accidentally eaten the last Haribo.  "Have you eaten the last cola bottle ????".  The guilty party was supposed to respond "Noas!".  No-one ever did however.  As it was shit.

35.  "It's better than Sun and Moon!!!".  Kevin champions the case for snowy weather, over other bizarre types.

36.  "No future, no life, no nothing!!!!", Matt's overreaction to loosing at games.

37.  "I'll see you guuuys.................  tomorrow".  One would wait for Robert's arrival the next day with excitement and surreal glee after this parting promise.

38.  "It's Nicola!!".  Andrew would often mistake random women spotted from the bus, for the chubby and whiney girl he liked at Debenhams.

39.  "To be honest.....".  When Mossy was drunk, just slightly past the 4 pint stage, his personality would change radically.  He would become shockingly lethargic, arrogant and stubborn.  For some reason this creature would always prefix his statements with these three words.

40.  "It's not me that smells, it's my fart that smells!".  Andrew would often mention his frustration at this particular Mossy gem.  If Mossy were ever to fart, we learned to never respond with "You smelly bastard", as they would receive this display of super-pedantry.

41.  "Tits and arse!!".  For some reason, Kevin would frequently say this phrase while at Chinese restaurants.  To this day, know one quite knows why.

42.  "I've not seen Andy, for TWO weeks".  Andrews odd and pervy Dabs friend, Mark, would often say this is asked if he had seen Andy.  The sad little blighter used to turn up un-asked to nights out, or even pal around with groups of girls he vaguely knew, just to look at their cleavage.

43.  "My jersey was uncomfortable".  Often used as an excuse as why Ken couldn't pop that crucial last-second dragon punch.

44.  Seven ( Pronounced very sarcastically).  The most sarcastic number of all.  Usually one would say, "Yeas, I used to say G-Nasher when I was seeeevvveeen!!".

45.  Strawberry DOS.  Something that causes incredible mirth at the quietest of times.  One of the many different flavours of DOS.

46.  "Don't forget your handkerchief!!!".  Sassy comedian Whoopi Goldberg one said this once on her tea-time sitcom.  Coupled with a bizarre set of neck movements.  Mossy could emulate this oddness, Andy clearly could not.

47.  "Quiet you!".  Well used phrase to instantly quiet a friend.  Sometimes preceded by the phrase "What happened to us Kudos??", or even "What happened to us Mr Peabody?".

48.  "Nelens Hipples".  Andrea Eatock introduced this one to the gang.  A secret very disgusting spoonerism.

49. "He looks as old as Terry Nutkins!!".  What Bodger, from 'Bodger and Badger' looks like.

50.  Yonks.  A very precise measurement of time, similar to 'ages'.

51.  "Do you not see??..................  Ahhhhh".  Jesus would sometimes say this to his disciples.

52.  "I was blocking!!!!!!!!!!!".  Andy would often utter this pearl after losing at a game of Street Fighter 2, or even Mortal Kombat 2.  Usually would also be coupled with a display of his joy pad with his fingers on the appropriate block button or direction.

53.  "I've not watched Power Rangers, for 2 weeks!!!".  Kevin displays his secret shame during an after drinking McDonald's session.

54.  "You know that's stealing, don't you Leeeeeeeeeeee?".  Professional scary woman Madeline made her mark on Mr Moss with this morsel of evil.

55.  "Stupid, just stupid!!".  High car insurance premiums are stupid, and so are many many things in life, use this one for many different things!!

56. "Arrrrrrr".  For a few years, several of the group decided to take it upon themselves to develop 'pirate' personas.  No-one quite knows why they did, but most phrases were prefixed with this pirate-esk prefix.  The most famous time this behaviour was displayed was in the Alamak, when, excitingly, a text based 'pirate_ship' room was created.  Clearly a time of fondness and Pete Blindell's C lessons.

57.  "How do they, DO that?".  Crap program circa 1996, "How do they do that", with 'Jenny Hull', and 'Des Lynam', was taken to heart by Kev and Mossy'.  They would often repeat this phrase too much, often emphasising the 'Do' portion of the title.  Jenny Hull is the one to blame for this, she should have never repeated the show's title with such an over-sugary, and semi-sarcastic tone.  It was fatal ( well, not really ).

58. "Bananas in Pyjamas".  A Mossy classic.  Once, in the comforting halls of 'X-Records', Mossy decided to tell Kevin about the very odd Australian children's program.  Music was playing most loudly, so he had to speak up.  Unfortunately for him, the music suddenly quietened just as he loudly uttered... 'Bananas in Pyjamas', causing the chap much embarrassment.  Ever since used as an acknowledgment that your voice has been 'embiggened' by recently quiet music.

59. "It's Chip and Yin!!!!".  1995, an odd advertisement hit British screens promoting a new kind of crispy/crunchy oven chip.  Viewers were most bemused to see a family sat around the dining table singing about the new tasty product.  Unfortunately no-one could decipher what the singing family were saying, as they kept repeating the nonsense phrase, 'They're Tasting Yeah!!!'.  There was almost an oasis of hope in the commercial around the end, when the camera focused on the family son, awaiting his singing solo in the piece.  A young Kevin White would think to himself 'Ahhhh, this fresh faced youngster will shed some light as to what's going down here....!!!'.  Alas, it was not to be, as the odd boy uttered a second indecipherable phrase... 'It's Chip and Yin!!!'.  A baffling commercial, and sadly left most viewers puzzled..

60. "Crumulent".  Complete rip off from the Simpsons.  Used whenever you need to describe something that is completely authentic/correct.  e.g. "That Snopple website is entirely crumulent!!!"